So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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