Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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