I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
