do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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