I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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