Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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