She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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