Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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