I could have mohawked her pubes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
