We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
