I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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