If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
3pm strippers are depressing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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