I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
