That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
