You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
