i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
