Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
