it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
