I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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