I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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