Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
