I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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