can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
