thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
