she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
