So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
