maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
