It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
