He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
