I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
