You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
