New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
