Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
