Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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