well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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