i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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