I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
