YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
