YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
