so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
