I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
