Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
