I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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