dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
