I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
