How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
