I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
