Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
