have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
