Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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