life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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