We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
