I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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