I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize