Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
