I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
