DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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