Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize