I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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