I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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