There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
