remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
