help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
