so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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