so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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