Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
