Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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