i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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